I posted this originally yesterday, 12/10, but after some discussion I brought it down. Now, after further discussion and some explanation, I am re-posting it. I hope you can enjoy the humorous aspects of this post. -Timmy
I made an interesting discovery last night while drifting off to sleep. Some background on this story… Rachel and I were watching Dr House on our DVR and after it was done, we’d be ready to go to sleep. During the show, I was working on adding more Christmas Music to KXRT’s playlist. I wasn’t quite finished by the time the show was over so when Rachel asked if we were ready for bed, I said that it would be a few more minutes. She turned off the TV and played Solitaire on her iPod until I was through. When I was done, I headed to the bathroom and came back in to lay down, have prayers and go to sleep. I was feeling a strange vibe and was wondering if Rachel was upset with me for taking too long to get ready to go to sleep or something. We had prayers and usually I automatically give her a kiss and we turn out the lights and go to sleep. This time I laid down after prayers and if I do that, usually, she will ask if I was going to kiss her. Here’s where the concept of reality comes into play.
For 7 plus years, the above has pretty much been the normal pattern for us. We’ve not always had a TV in the room, but regardless, that was our rhythm. Last night, however, due to the odd vibe and the lack of a kiss or a request for one, we laid there in dark silence. I was drifting off and came to the realization of this. I asked Rachel if she was upset with me. She replied that she wasn’t. I asked her what was wrong. She said that nothing was. I thought for a bit. I rehearsed the above theory of our pattern to her. She said something to the effect that it was me who would ask for the kiss, not her. Feeling a little defeated that what my reality of the past 7 years was dashed to pieces with a simple statement, I responded with my usual way of making off-handed comments. This is where the discovery came clear.
I live in my own little reality. Most times this is fine and dandy. I now understand that it’s only when I challenge actual reality with mine, that I get into trouble. I also discovered that actual reality is also normal and envelopes the rest of the universe at large. Picture one man’s small reality, a round sphere that kind of bounces around inside of this other actual reality. If ever some of this other reality tries to leak out into the actual sphere of reality, all of it’s defences attack immediately to ward off any questionable infection. It goes without saying then, that actual reality is where my dear wife resides and presides. It’s more than OK for my little reality to co-exist and mingle but if there’s ever a potential of the two mixing, you’d better not be in the neighborhood.
I truly love my wife. I admire her for her infinite tolerance of me and my sarcastic wit. I, in no way, meant this post as a serious commentary on how our relationship is. We are doing wonderfully. I just felt like sharing a short and sassy story to maybe help some people with how to think outside of the box. Life is too short and too busy to get so bogged down in why a supposed “vibe” might mean your spouse is angry with you. Try to find out why you might be feeling guilty. I know Rachel doesn’t appreciate the lengths of time I spend on the computer sometimes. Maybe she was irritated that I was on it through the whole TV show and still some afterwords. And THEN I had to use the restroom. And when I asked, she didn’t want to get into an argument or nag on me for the same crap. Who knows? But I go into my “you hurt my feelings by me not being right AGAIN” act and start lashing out.
Rachel, I love you. You are the best thing to ever happen to someone as undeserving as I.