Trip to Spokane

Reagan, Gwyn & Kelsey

First off, I’d like to give a heart-felt thank you to Pete & Sally and Gina for their hospitality and for inviting us! I was emailed a month or more back from my big sister, Gina, to see if we could join them for their second child, Kelsey’s baptism. Rachel and I discussed it and decided that would be fun and we accepted. Rachel’s dad, Pete, lives up there as well and offered to put us up for the weekend. It was a great weekend!

We were able to arrange the time off and packed up the van with our clothes, supplies and Lexie and left around noon on Friday, the 30th. We take I-15 north to where it meets up with I-90, near Butte, Montana. It’s a pretty lengthy drive and it seemed like every few miles there was a 5 mile stretch of construction. Problem was there wasn’t any actual road work going on! Just blocked off sections of the freeway. A couple of sections where they brought north and southbound together on one side. I think there was one section where the road was actually tore up but still no workers present. They lowered the speed limits from 75 to 35. Otherwise, it was a decent trip. We made it in just over 12 hours. Continue reading “Trip to Spokane”


Time Flies…

Here it is almost dead-center of January! It’s like the time has no consideration for anything. You’d think at the beginning of a new year, time would slow down a bit to allow us a little time to reflect and savor the feeling. BUT NO!! Time just floats by same as always, relentless. Just like you’d hope time around a holiday or a birthday or some big event or trip, you’d wish time would relax just a bit. Of course, it does not and we have to run sometimes to keep up.

Days, months and years just tick by like clouds in the sky, like songs on the radio, like the second-hand swipes by on a clock…

Interesting to consider that depending on what’s going on time can really feel like it’s just rocketing past you or slower than the snow and rain erodes a mountain side. I found that most times when time goes too fast is looking back on things. When I served my two-year full-time LDS Mission in Florida I look back at that time as it was just a brief instant. While I was in Florida, there were times that I would just explode waiting for the next hour to go by. I still feel that way at times at work or the dentist! Continue reading “Time Flies…”

The search for Susan Powell continues…

Susan Powell, 28

It’s now been over two weeks that the 28-year-old mother of two from near Salt Lake City, Utah, Susan Powell, has been missing. Over 8,000 have joined in the effort on the Facebook Group! There have now been three candlelight vigils in her honor. This last one included people in both Utah and her home state of Washington (and other places around the world) gathering at the same time. We offered prayer, a brief statement and sang Silent Night all together. The feelings felt were incredible. It felt like God’s angels were among us comforting us, acknowledging our efforts and feelings.

We are still hoping and praying for the best and the part that really is sometimes disheartening is that we are not hearing much about the investigation. We trust the police are doing all they can and understand they can’t expose any information until they consider it best. But thousands upon thousands of us are waiting and begging for the next bit of news or police action. Continue reading “The search for Susan Powell continues…”

Rachel & Tim – 8 Years

My sweet wife
My sweet wife

Today marks the 8th year of our wedding that took place in Oakland, CA at the Oakland LDS Temple. This was attended by many family and friends of whom some drove many miles to attend. The typical male brain keeps a lot of the details kind of misty, but one memory I have is looking over the valley of the Bay Area, I noticed it was unusually clear and could see so far into the distance. Other times I’ve taken in that same view, there was fog or haze that made it difficult to see. I find that symbolic of the beauty of marriage. It sets so many things into place and eliminates so many things a man has to worry about. Don’t get me wrong, there are new things to worry about all the time, but just knowing that I know who I will be next to for my entire life and beyond is very comforting. Continue reading “Rachel & Tim – 8 Years”

A General Feeling of … blah

Hello, friends and family! It’s been some time since I posted anything of a personal nature. The blog was kinda buggin’ me to give it some TLC. You know, dropping in on some random dreams, saying “blog” instead of my wife’s name at inopportune moments. I have also been somewhat of a hypocrite as I’ve been getting on Rachel’s case for a bit to update her blog. So to address these concerns, made up or not, I have this to offer.

Over the past months, I’ve been witness to some family drama that actually doesn’t involve me. As relieving as that is, I have still felt very burdened by it all. I don’t intend to drop names or call out any specifics, I just want to lay some groundwork. I have felt some degree of uneasiness since Rachel and I decided to move to California all those years ago. That feeling has ebbed and waned as life has continued, usually in sync with how my personal life felt like it was going. Generally, the magnitude of the negative feelings would increase directly with how I felt about my current professional status. I felt the greatest when I was working at Intel. I LOVED working there! It had plenty of opportunity to grow, progress and experiment with different things. I had begun, though, to grow quite weary of living in Sacramento. Even after moving a few times to different areas of town, I still wasn’t happy. Yes, I loved my job, yes I earned my degree at college, yes, we brought Wyatt into our family. I really had blessings coming out my ears while we lived there. Things that would have certainly not happened had we stayed in Washington. I would not trade my time in California for anything.

We then had the opportunity for another major move. This time, Intel had our back and financed the transition. In December of 2005, we arrived here, in Utah. The idea was that it was considerably cheaper to operate our business from Utah than California. We setup a small team here and it was to grow and expand. They did more research and found that it was even cheaper to operate from Costa Rica. We knew fairly early that our days were numbered. A couple months later, we were able to get a house! Things were just rockin’! Then, I got another great chance to shine when I was sent to Costa Rica for five weeks to train our eventual replacements. I put that aside and gave it my best effort. I even made some great friends there who I still keep in touch with. It was a fantastic experience! Back at home, Rachel was stricken with a severely injured ankle. This turned into a much more debilitating fiasco that I still feel horrible about.

I really wanted to focus on my feelings. As time at Intel was winding down, so was my emotional level. Feelings again of missing home were creeping in. Then in November of 2006, an event shook me to the very core. My Father died from a brain tumor. Through that year, we had been able to take multiple trips to Washington to visit and take care of family. As I had mourned my loss and began rebuilding things emotionally, we got notice that our last day at Intel would be in July of 2007. Moving through a couple jobs in the next 6-8 months was ok. I was trying myself out. I then landed my current job in March of 2008. I was pretty excited. A small, privately and locally owned technology company promised a lot of potential for growth and development. As a year went by with none of this motion, I started itching again for something. Immediately, my thoughts returned home, to Washington. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been dealing with this family issue. Here’s the skeleton of what’s happening. My Mom lives by herself in our family home. It has it’s problems, specifically sewage and drainage. Every 2-4 years, the main pump dies and it’s a heck of a monster to fix. My youngest brother is on his mission in Cleveland and has no way to help. My older sister is 5 hours away in Spokane and has very limited availability. My other brother lives about 20 minutes away from my mom and while he has a job and his own family of four kids to be there for, he’s the one my mom can go to.

I told my brother that I don’t envy his position in this. It’s a heavy load to carry. But it’s the way it is and he should be able to work things out. Because of these issues my kin are having, I have consistently wished that I could be there to help. In some way. My problem is that we don’t have the financial wherewithal to make these trips. As it stands the only time that we will be able to go is in February, when my brother gets home from his mission.

I am so frustrated and sad. Mom’s made her visits here and there so it’s not so much that I miss her. I can’t find a really good way to define it other than Washington is home and I miss it horribly. It’s been nearly 8 years since I’ve lived there and almost 3 years since I’ve visited. I want to go home. Thank Heaven that I have Rachel! If I didn’t have her or had someone else, we would have gone bankrupt several times. Yes, I should have a job secured before we move. Yes, we need to be able to sell our house. We can’t just up and go. As spontaneous as I would like to be, it’s not wise nor is it practical. Rachel came again to my rescue and brought to my attention something I had neglected for quite sometime – personal prayer. I realized it had been a very long time since I offered a personal prayer to my Father in Heaven. I am now doing this and asking for guidance and direction. I’m starting to feel my feelings and thoughts come together and connect. This time, my sweet, eternal wife was my example. Thank you, sweetie!

I would like to request your faith and prayers on our behalf. I feel like we should return to Washington. I feel like that is the right decision. I just need to know when it’s the right time. I’m out of time at the moment and I want to publish this. I may be adding on to this or just write a follow up later. Thanks for taking a moment to read this and thanks for your faith and prayers, in advance.